


of love and tacos

by esmethenightdemon



Series: destiel one shots [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 09, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel Needs a Hug (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Cooking, Cooking Lessons, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Dialogue, One Shot, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Short One Shot, Starvation, mentions of eating disorders, seriously just so much talk of starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmethenightdemon/pseuds/esmethenightdemon
Summary: castiel bonds with dean over food.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: destiel one shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744231
Comments: 3
Kudos: 58





	of love and tacos

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! im just going to warn you guys here: this fic has very, very frequent talk of starvation. if that makes you uncomfortable/triggered please don't read! other than that, enjoy! :)

castiel was always fascinated by humanity. he'd spend decades at a time just watching them. humans had the oddest habits, he found. they pleasured themselves with whatever they could find and pretended to like others for the sake of being polite. he was endlessly entertained by it. 

but the thing he found the most bizarre? their need to eat. constantly. he couldn't figure it out. humans were such complex beings, run by some tissue with electricity running through it. and yet so many of them would just. fall over from no food. 

it saddened castiel to see it most of the time. children down to skin and bones curling up one last time and dying because they had no food. mothers and fathers starving because they were keeping their children alive. teenagers keeping their stomaches empty for the sake of beauty. 

there wasn't much castiel could do about it, and while it bothered him, he didn't know what it felt like. he was an immortal celestial being, how could he? 

until he became human and was cast out from the bunker. now those days, they were the worst. he was cold all the time; feeling like death himself was about to take him. he welcomed rain to wash the dirt off him when it could because he was cold anyway, he might as well also be clean. that, he could deal with. but hunger, he could never deal with. 

sometimes, it was empty inside, so much that it hurt. other times it was clawing hunger, like rabid dogs wanting to leave their cages. 

it was days like that when castiel wondered how nine year old dean winchester could handle going hungry, even if his younger brother didn't. he wondered why john winchester could let it happen. 

he thought of dean a lot while he was homeless. the righteous man, the love of his life. he didn't think the latter title was dulled in the slightest by becoming a mortal. 

thinking of him hurt too. later, he'd forgive the eldest winchester for doing it, but it didn't keep castiel from biting back curses in his name on some of the harshest days. Ii was bittersweet; the only person who could make his world right again was the one who placed him in that position in the first place. 

but then, he was welcomed back, by some miracle. castiel was glad to have shelter again, but he felt reproachful about calling it home. things were still tense with sam, and he couldn't even sit in the same room with dean without feeling like he was going to throw up from the tension. and he didn't want to do that with food in him, not when the winchesters could abandon him again. 

that thought was a slap in the face, because he knew it wouldn't happen again. but the nagging thought was still there. 

eventually, castiel ended up bonding with sam over research for hunts. and with his love, food. 

he always knew that dean had a certain love for food that stemmed from going hungry during his childhood, and even in his adulthood sometimes. he never said anything about it, like sam. but he never quite understood until now. 

so then every day, castiel helped dean make food. now that it wasn't just molecules, he was more intrigued by it. together they made everything from just some simple eggs to dean's burgers, derived from a secret recipe. there were plenty of mishaps along the way (apple pies tastes a lot better when you used sugar, not salt, as they learned the hard way). but slowly but surely, they healed their relationship in the kitchen. 

while spending time with dean was something castiel cherished deeply, he was becoming more and more frustrated by the man. the small touches and brushes weren't enough. it was hard enough as an angel, but as a human? everything was cranked up to eleven. the simple press of dean's fingers on the small of his back was enough to send his heart racing. 

it reaches a breaking point the first time they decide to make tacos. dean had been making a point of trying all types of foods with castiel so he could find his favorites. he was unopposed to this idea and found himself enjoying trying something new every day (except for cheesecake, he didn't care for that in the slightest). 

he is browning some beef for said tacos when dean comes up behind him. a little odd, but castiel brushes it off. but then he wraps his hand deftly around castiel's wrist, with the thinly veiled intent of helping him stir the food. castiel's heart stops, and he sees stars. all of a sudden, friendship isn't enough, not without trying for more first. 

he sets down the spoon far away from the fire and turns around to face dean. the reason he rebelled, the reason he fell. his face is stoic but his moss green eyes are filled with panic. castiel knows now, that he wants this just as much as the former angel. 

slowly, he places one arm over the hunter's shoulder and one on the side of his face. his thumb is on his soft pink lips and he can feel dean's breathe come out in warm puffs. he hasn't pulled back yet. 

castiel moves his finger away and leans in, slow enough that dean could pull away if he wanted to, if he changes his mind all of a sudden. 

he doesn't. 

their lips finally meet in a cumulation of their years of friendship and kinship, of pining and locked away love. castiel can't breathe and he isn't sure he wants to. the tips of his fingers are tingling and dean's arms are around his waist and he's sure he's died and found some version of his own heaven. 

the kiss is electric and nothing like he had ever imagined, and it was only a gentle press, nothing more. 

when they finally broke apart, breathing each other in, castiel knows that everything won't be immediately fixed by this. they still have emotions and traumas to work through. but his love is in his arms and for the first time in months, he's truly happy. he feels like he's home.

and if they end up having leftover pizza because they let the beef burn, that'll just be the next thing they get to do together.


End file.
